Should I Leave My Church? 10 Things To Help You Decide

Most of us who go to church regularly and are involved in the life of the congregation go through times when we think about leaving. Sometimes it's necessary – if we move house, for instance – but more often we become restless for other reasons entirely. It's a very hard decision. We feel loyal to our friends, we have happy memories of meeting with God, we don't want to let people down – and yet it someone gets harder to stay. How do we decide whether God is calling us to move or whether we should just deal with our very human frustrations? There are no easy answers, but here are things to think about.

1. Loyalty is good. Being part of a church is like any other relationship; it takes work. 

We might find ourselves frustrated by the way things are done or by the people who do them, but very often sticking with it brings long-term gains. Church can be like family, and we don't always like our families, either.

2. Leaving isn't always wrong. 

Whether we realise it at the time or not, when we're part of a church we are learning about God and accumulating Christian experience. If we leave and take what we've learned to another congregation we can be a blessing to them – especially if we intentionally go somewhere we are needed.

3. We shouldn't expect to have everything our own way.  

Our teeth might be set on edge by the music or our theological hackles raised by the preaching, but there's more to church than that. Learning to cope with new things and seeing God at work in strange ways is a discipline and a blessing – though if we've tried and feel we aren't being spiritually satisfied by church services, God may be moving us on.

4. Bad preaching is no reason for leaving. 

There are very few pulpit wizards around today of the stature of CH Spurgeon. But the good preachers do tend to attract people to their services. If these people are previously unconverted, that's fine; but 'honeypot' churches that drain the life out of smaller congregations can be a problem unless they deliberately take steps to support them. Faithfulness and prayerfulness in preaching is much more important than drama and style.

5. Neither is bad music.  

Some churches are blessed with full-scale worship bands, choirs and organists. Others stumble on and just do their best. There are more important things in worship than music.

6. Friends matter. 

One of the functions of a church is to provide a place where people can grow together in fellowship. If that isn't happening for you, you might need to ask why not. Perhaps people aren't very friendly – or perhaps you aren't very friendly. Either way, if you are really lonely in church and have tried everything you can to make friends, you might need to try somewhere else.

7. Service matters. 

One question we should ask ourselves is, 'Am I useful here?' We might be very happy in a church but still have the sense we aren't being stretched or challenged. Just down the road there might be another congregation crying out for our gifts. It might be the time to ask the blessing of the pastor to go and help somewhere else.

8. Broken relationships matter. 

People do fall out at church. It's always sad, but sometimes it's unbearable. Christians are called to forgive, and we can't share bread and wine at the Lord's Table together unless we do that. But when we have tried everything and still can't agree, we need to be open to moving to avoid serious spiritual harm.

9. Theology matters. 

When we find ourselves at odds with what's being taught at the church we attend, we have to be very careful not to assume we're right. Perhaps we're hearing things we haven't heard before; that doesn't mean they're wrong. We have to test everything, but sometimes we feel we simply can't support the direction the church is travelling in. When that happens we might decide we shouldn't stay and try to block every change in the name of what we believe is true, but get out of the way and trust God to lead the church where he wants it to go.

10. God calls us. 

For most Christians church is a large part of our lives. Not just our spiritual lives but our social lives are wrapped up in it and leaving is a big thing. Once we've committed ourselves to a particular church, the presumption ought to be that we'll stay. But sometimes God moves us on, and when that happens it ought to be done as graciously and lovingly as possible, on both sides.

There are no easy answers to a question like this. But if we are prayerful and unselfish in our approach, God will guide us and bless us.

Read More

Going To Church And Wearing A Cross Around Your Neck Make You Seem More Trustworthy

A Christian pilgrims walk down the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem, some holding palm leaves, during the traditional Palm Sunday procession

Going to church or wearing religious clothes like a cross around your neck make you more popular.

It also makes you seem trustworthy, according to a leading academic.

Eleanor Power, evolutionary anthropologist and Omidyar Postdoctoral Fellow at the Santa Fe Institute, says she lives in New Mexico and each year knows that Holy Week is approaching because she starts to see pilgrims carrying crosses on the highway.

 Writing for the Evolution Institute, she says: 'Tens of thousands make the journey each year, fulfilling vows and seeking blessings at the pilgrimage site.'

One year, she joined in the pilgrimage for the last few miles and returned home with sore feet and tired muscles.

She says she reflects that the pilgrims have a strength she lacks and are driven forward by their faith. 'With just a fleeting glimpse, I am apparently ready to infer all sorts of qualities and characteristics about the blur of pilgrims I pass.'

Academic research shows that people often use religious action, such as pilgrimages, to infer something about the character and commitments of others.

'Experimental studies have found, for example, that we see people as more trustworthy if they show signs of membership to a religious community (say, a necklace with a cross), or adhere to religious dietary requirements (say, eating halal). Only those who are truly committed to the religious group and its beliefs, we seem to reason, will be willing to make such investments. They must be trustworthy.'

She investigated her theory by going to live in South India for two years among villages with Hindus, Catholics and Protestants.

My studying people's religious practice and how others viewed them, she found that those who worship regularly at a church or temple and those who undertake dramatic acts of devotion were seen by their peers as more devout.

'But even more was being associated with such religious villagers: they were also seen as having a good work ethic, giving good advice, being generous, and having good character.

'A whole suite of other-focused, prosocial qualities was being attributed to those villagers who invested in the religious life of their village.'


The villagers paid 'particular attention' to the religious action of young people, whom they were still trying to suss out, she writes. 'Those very things that can make religion seem particularly inscrutable for some may actually be what make it such an enduring and resilient part of the cultures of the world.'

Read More

3 Qualities To Aim For If You Want To Really Love Your Neighbour As Yourself

We are all looking for a real friend, someone who will love us and support us both in our good and bad times. But seriously, who wants to be a friend to someone who only remembers you when they need something from you? I think we all wouldn't want to be taken for granted.

And so we need to learn one very important thing: We must learn to treat others the way we want to be treated.


A Key Ingredient

As followers of the Lord Jesus Christ, we are told to love our neighbours as ourselves. Applied to our relationships, this means many things. For one, it simply means treating others the same way we want to be treated. If we want to be respected, then we will respect others. If we want to be loved, then we must be loving.

The Bible tells us, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" (Luke 6:31 MEV). This is a very important thing to understand. We can't expect to be treated like royalty if we treat others likes slaves. No. The Lord Jesus Himself said,

"Whoever would be great among you, let him serve you, and whoever would be first among you, let him be your slave, even as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many." (see Matthew 20:26-28)

That, my friends, is how it works in God's Kingdom. If we want to be great, we will serve. If we want honour, then we will be honourable.

Qualities To Grow

Knowing this, we should learn to grow or develop these three qualities in us. These are very basic, but the more we develop them in us, the more we can do better at loving others the same way we love ourselves.

1. Loving-kindness

Everybody wants to be loved, right? I'm pretty sure that you want that, too. What better way to receive the love we long for than to be loving ourselves?

Look back to the people you consider to be loving. These people probably did something nice or meaningful to you, and you remember them for that. You remember them for the love they gave. Learn to give love, too.

2. Gracious

We all fail sometimes, right? If you fail at something, would you want others to bash you for failing, or would you rather have someone encourage you, put their faith in God's work in you, and cheer you on as you get up? I'm pretty sure you'd want the latter.

3. Humility

Humility allows us to see beyond our own selfishness. Pride always goes before a fall, but humility exalts. Humility allows us to see another person's need or problem, and helps us to act accordingly. In other words, being humble helps us see our neighbour and respond to them the right way. And when we do that, they respond accordingly, too.

Read More

5 Things Christian Parents Should Pray For Their Adult Children

It can sometimes feel like parenting duties end the moment our children grow into adults and walk out our front door to start their own lives. But parenting is a calling that goes on for life.

Yes, responsibilities change and, in one aspect, diminish, given that we no longer have the main job of providing for our adult children.

But then a new responsibility comes in. I haven't personally crossed that threshold of being a parent to an adult myself, but my parents did. And they were a blessing to me.

As a parent to an adult, do you take time to pray for your children? The truth is that they probably need it more than ever now.

Here are five areas to lift up to God for when praying for your adult children.

2. Wisdom And DiscernmentWe must pray that our children walk in this understanding.

As parents, you were once not just a source of material provision for your children but also a source of wisdom and sound judgment for your child. But as they grow, they need to build wisdom on their own. And one way they can constantly grow wiser is through the Holy Spirit. We can stand in the gap and intercede for our children to walk in the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.

3. Provision

When our children grow up, their bank accounts will no longer be ours, and it can sometimes be a struggle to watch them hurt for money. But in all this, we must remember that it is God who gives the ability to produce wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18) and we must pray for that for our children.

4. Purpose And Direction

Psalm 127:4 says, "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth."

Like arrows, our children have targets, and our goal in life is to direct them to those targets. Many times the best—and, sometimes, the only—way we can do that is through prayer.

5. Deeper Intimacy With Jesus

More than their relationship with you as their parent or guardian, what matters most is our children's relationship with Jesus. We can and should pray for our children to experience more of Jesus on a daily basis so they can learn to walk more and more in Him on a daily basis.

Read More

Witches Organise 'Mass Spell To Bind Donald Trump'

Donald J Trump has survived mass protests at airports, accusations of infiltration by Russia and wholesale condemnation from other world leaders.

But a new sort of action against him is taking place on Friday of completely different nature.

Witches around the world are being urged to join a 'mass spell to bind Donald Trump' on February 24.

The 'Bind Trump' resistance has more than 4,000 supporters on its Facebook page and lays out how the spell is to be cast at 'midnight on every waning crescent moon until he is removed from office'.

The Bind Trump movement was lambasted by Christian Nationalists as 'the Left organizing their own religious display'

Participants are told: 'This binding spell is open source, and may be modified to fit your preferred spiritual practice or magical system — the critical elements are the simultaneity of the working and the mass energy of participants.'

The event details liturgy to use and all the props needed for the voodoo spell including a 'unflattering photo of Trump', a 'tower tarot card', a 'tiny stub of an orange candle' and a 'pin or small nail'.

This is not the first time witches have come together against Trump. A protest in mid-September was filmed and posted to YouTube.

On the other end of the spectrum, a group from ChristianNationalism.com are countering the protest with prayer.

Kevin Ambrose writes: 'While this sort of magical attack on believers and servants of God is nothing new this instance stands out to me because they are attempting to enlist the aid of non-religious liberals. These people, mostly young, who may be riled up by the non-stop media attacks on President Trump are a fertile recruiting ground for Satanic groups.'

He adds: 'This is a declaration of spiritual war and it requires a response. As such the Christian Nationalist Alliance is announcing a Day of Prayer on each of these days. We beseech all Christian soldiers to answer this call to action by reading from Psalm 23. We ask you to join us in praying for the strength of our nation, our elected representatives and for the souls of the lost who would take up Satanic arms against us.'

Read More

Why Trudy Harrison's Victory In Copeland Is A Win For Traditional English Values

Trudy Harrison, the new MP for Copeland.

'How mad I am, sad I am, glad that you won.'

I can't get these famous words by John Betjeman out of my head this morning.


'With carefullest carelessness, gaily you won,
 I am weak from your loveliness, Joan Hunter Dunn.'

Nor can some in the Conservative Party, judging by the jubilant tweets since Trudy Harrison became Copeland's first Conservative MP since 1935 – the first time a ruling party has won a by-election since 1982.

We don't know much about Trudy Harrison, as Paul Goodman has pointed out at Conservative Home.

But one thing we do know is that she likes taking tea – in tea rooms. And she also likes a bit of spice in her life.

'My favourite place in the world to eat is the Byre Tea Rooms in Bootle, nutritious and very delicious but if we are looking for something in the evening I would really be torn between Da Vinci's or something a bit hot from Curry Spice,' she said in a recent Q&A.

Tea. Tea rooms. Vicarages. Dappled evening sunlight in the summer dusk. But also a love for the spice of life.

This is not just Betjeman. It is also Rupert Brooke:

'The lies, and truths, and pain? . . . oh! yet
Stands the Church clock at ten to three?
And is there honey still for tea?'

The lies, the truth, the pain of Brexit and its opponents. Of what is happening in America. Of the terrors in the Middle East.

And now we have Trudy Harrison – seeming so much in the mould of the prime minister, Theresa May. Can we dare to hope that these women represent some kind of hope for the future for our troubled and frightened country?

Theresa May is the Tories' not so secret weapon. But perhaps the faith aspect of her success seems something of a secret, because she is so private about it. So very British.

While we know May goes to church on Sundays, we know very little about exactly how she believes, or why. Many of us, including myself, have faith embedded in the depths of our souls that is born of terrible trauma.

We are those who have tried life without God, and life with God, and know which we prefer.

In an era when so much personal tragedy is played out in public, Theresa May epitomises an old-fashioned Anglican faith that has no fear of the public devotion – the Sunday churchgoing. But the what and why of the private side of that faith is, rightly, kept private.

In this as in so much else, she is exemplary. As our world trembles around us, with old familiar certainties seeming to disappear perhaps forever, it is so comforting to know there are women such as Trudy Harrison and Theresa May, giving their all to community service and taking tea in Bootle.

UKIP has successfully exploited for years this fear of a disappearing English style of life.

Could it be that Theresa May, and now Trudy Harrison, have pulled that rug out from under them?

These dignified Conservative women have no need to reduce the argument to a home-grown form of terror of some nameless wolf in the forest. Instead, they show simply by being who they are that this life has not gone.

Traditional Englishness, with its inherent traditions of goodness, faith, service – and tea – endures still, even in regions so much on the edge such as Copeland.

For too long, we have been living with male politicians bigging up the fear of our beloved style of life, so English, so Betjeman, so Rupert Brooke, disappearing from Britain.

Well of course it has to change. It is changing. But we can perhaps dare to start to hope that while changing, it need not vanish entirely.

In Theresa May, in Trudy Harrison, we can trust in a future where good things can continue to happen. A future where it is possible to welcome the stranger to our land. To work with people of other faiths and no faith in voluntary service to build social capital. We know this is possible, because these women are doing it – and against the odds, they are winning.

It's not all sunlight and roses of course.

There's still Hillaire Belloc:

'And always keep ahold of nurse – For fear of finding something worse.'

The Church of England might no longer be the Conservative Party at prayer. But these victorious Conservative women are surely the answer to the prayers of the nation. They are like the Queen. They're even a bit like Joan of Arc – like Joan Hunter Dunn. We need to treasure them and vote for them when we have the chance.

The alternatives are so very, very much worse.

LIKE AND SHARE

Read More

Trump's Team Is In Disarray, US Senator McCain Tells Europe

Republican Senator John McCain broke with the reassuring message that US officials visiting Germany have sought to convey on their debut trip to Europe, saying on Friday that the administration of President Donald Trump was in 'disarray'.

McCain, a known Trump critic, told the Munich Security Conference that the resignation of the new president's security adviser Michael Flynn over his contacts with Russia reflected deep problems in Washington.

US Senator John McCain speaks at the opening of the 53rd Munich Security Conference in Munich, February 17, 2017.

'I think that the Flynn issue obviously is something that shows that in many respects this administration is in disarray and they've got a lot of work to do,' said McCain, even as he praised Trump's defence secretary.

'The president, I think, makes statements (and) on other occasions contradicts himself. So we've learned to watch what the president does as opposed to what he says,' he said.

European governments have been unsettled by the signals sent by Trump on a range of foreign policy issues ranging from NATO and Russia to Iran, Israel and European integration.

The debut trip to Europe of Trump's Defense Secretary Jim Mattis and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, to a meeting of G20 counterparts in Bonn, went some way to assuaging concerns as they both took a more traditional US position.

But Trump is wrestling with a growing controversy at home about potential ties between his aides and Russia, which he dismissed on Thursday as a 'ruse' and 'scam' perpetrated by a hostile news media.

Mattis made clear to allies, both at NATO in Brussels and in Munich, that the United States would not retreat from leadership as the European continent grapples with an assertive Russia, wars in eastern and southern Mediterranean countries and attacks by Islamist militants.

US Vice President Mike Pence will address the Munich conference on Saturday with a similar message of reassurance.

Pence will say that Europe is an 'indispensable partner' for the United States, a senior White House foreign policy adviser told reporters.

Mattis told a crowd that included heads of state and more than 70 defence ministers that Trump backed NATO.

'President Trump came into office and has thrown now his full support to NATO. He too espouses NATO's need to adapt to today's strategic situation for it to remain credible, capable and relevant,' Mattis said.

Mattis said the United States and its European allies had a shared understanding of the challenges ahead. Trump has alarmed allies by expressing admiration for Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Mattis, however, has spoken out strongly against Russia while in Europe. After talks with NATO allies in Brussels on Thursday, he said that he did not believe it would be possible to collaborate militarily with Moscow, at least for now.

The Europeans may need more convincing that Washington stands with it on a range of security issues.

'There is still a lot of uncertainty,' Sebastian Kurz, Austria's foreign minister, told reporters. 'The big topic in Munich is looking to the USA to see which developments to expect next.'

'No illusions'

European intelligence agencies have warned that Russia is also seeking to destabilise governments and influence elections across Europe with cyber attacks, fake news and propaganda and by funding far-right political parties.

'We should be under no illusions about the step-change in Russian behavior over the last couple of years, even after Crimea,' British defence minister Michael Fallon said, referring to Moscow's 2014 annexation of the Ukrainian peninsula.

'We have seen a step-change in Russian military aggression, but also in propaganda, in misinformation and a succession of persistent attacks on Western democracies, interference in a whole series of elections including...the United States.'

NATO Secretary-General Jens Stoltenberg held talks with Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov in Munich, seeing progress on encouraging Moscow to be more open about its military exercises that the alliance says are unpredictable.

Russia says it is the Western alliance, not Moscow, that is destabilising Europe by sending troops to its western borders.

'We have different views,' Stoltenberg said of the crisis in Ukraine, where the West accuses the Kremlin of arming separatist rebels in a conflict that has killed 10,000 people since April 2014. Russia says the conflict is a civil war.

In the latest incident, Lithuanian prosecutors have opened a criminal investigation into a false report of rape by German soldiers stationed there on a NATO mission to deter Russia.

Mattis, without explicitly citing the case, rallied to the defence of German forces as he spoke in the German city of Munich. 'I have great respect for Germany's leadership in Europe – and for the ethical performance of your troops on the battlefield,' he said.

US intelligence agencies concluded last year that Russia hacked and leaked Democratic emails during the election campaign as part of an effort to tilt the vote in Trump's favor.

McCain acknowledged concern in Europe and beyond that America was 'laying down the mantle of global leadership' and cited global trends he found disturbing, including hardening resentment toward immigrants and an unwillingness to separate truth from lies.

McCain urged the forum not to give up on the United States.

'Make no mistake, my friends: These are dangerous times, but you should not count America out, and we should not count each other out,' McCain said.

Read More